Effie Kurilof reading to a child.

The Intelligence of the Heart; a new workshop film with
Effie Kuriloff

The workshop which is recorded in this film is very special. It demonstrates the essence of how Effie works with parents and children. It was not filmed in a school setting, but in the beautiful Swedenborgian Church in San Francisco.

Invitations were extended through various channels, so that Effie had no idea who or how many people would be there. Except for showing the 30 minute film The Tricycle Solution. she had no pre planned agenda or notes. Certain materials like play-doh and crayons were made available to occupy the children since they had been invited along with their parents. Effie brought her presence and was ready to meet whoever might come, and to go from there to wherever it might lead.

One of the most frequently asked questions by parents concerns conflict resolution! Many who have worked with Effie make comments like, Noone does conflict resolution the way you do it.
That is because Effie does not address THE CONFLICT nor does she try to find a ‘fair’ solution.

At this workshop there were no big disagreements over, for example, some object (such as the example in The Tricycle Solution_ but there were conflicts none the less: when a child’s choice to talk conflicted with the group’s wish to listen to Effie, and when a little girl’s wish to put her hand inside her mother’s blouse conflicted with her mother’s wish that she not do it.

In each case the child-albeit crying-was taken into another room by an adult. Without judgment or causing embarrassment to anyone, Effie walked the parent or parents through The Truth of the situation and their feelings about it. (By the way, the children reappeared very quickly and resumed their activities.)

This created such an atmosphere of acceptance and openness that other participants came up with insights into their own situations, even childoods.

Effie’s motto seems to be: Respect your child; respect yourself. Be kind to your child; be kind to yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.

Whoever wants to learn more about genuine conflict resolution would do well to watch this video and the exquisite dance Effie engages in with individual parents. Rather than teaching them specific techniques, she opens them to the intelligence of the heart!!!


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