Intelligence of the Heart; a new workshop film with
The workshop which is recorded in this film is very special. It demonstrates
the essence of how Effie works with parents and children. It was not filmed
in a school setting, but in the beautiful Swedenborgian Church in San
Invitations were extended through various channels, so that Effie had
no idea who or how many people would be there. Except for showing the
30 minute film The Tricycle Solution. she had
no pre planned agenda or notes. Certain materials like play-doh and crayons
were made available to occupy the children since they had been invited
along with their parents. Effie brought her presence and was ready to
meet whoever might come, and to go from there to wherever it might lead.
One of the most frequently asked questions by parents concerns conflict
resolution! Many who have worked with Effie make comments like, Noone
does conflict resolution the way you do it.
That is because Effie does not address THE CONFLICT nor does she try to
find a ‘fair’ solution.
At this workshop there were no big disagreements over, for example, some
object (such as the example in The Tricycle Solution_
but there were conflicts none the less: when a child’s choice to
talk conflicted with the group’s wish to listen to Effie, and when
a little girl’s wish to put her hand inside her mother’s blouse
conflicted with her mother’s wish that she not do it.
In each case the child-albeit crying-was taken into another room by an
adult. Without judgment or causing embarrassment to anyone, Effie walked
the parent or parents through The Truth of the situation and their feelings
about it. (By the way, the children reappeared very quickly and resumed
This created such an atmosphere of acceptance and openness that other
participants came up with insights into their own situations, even childoods.
Effie’s motto seems to be: Respect your child; respect
yourself. Be kind to your child; be kind to yourself. If you don’t
take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.
Whoever wants to learn more about genuine
conflict resolution would do well to
watch this video and the exquisite dance
Effie engages in with individual parents.
Rather than teaching them specific techniques,
she opens them to the intelligence of